you know them, you love them: a colorful ecosystem of moé gijinka designed by the collective userbase of 2chan to personify various operating systems. enough ink's been spilled fervently debating who's the cutest/sexiest/bestest girl of the OS-tans, but today, i'll boldly posit a question the masses are too afraid/disinterested to answer… which of the windows-tans would win in a fight? there's only one way to uncover the truth; it's time to pit the strongest girls against each other in an
i've chosen a dozen competitors arbitrarily. let's meet our contestants!
|
Windows 3.1-tan
quiet little sister of the family. not exactly dressed for combat, but surely nothing bad will come of this. |
|
Windows NT-tan
compassionate matriarch. everyone's mom and protector. occasionally drawn swordfighting alongside 95. |
|
Windows 95-tan
always in kimono. she's a bit old-fashioned, but only strict when she needs to be. NT's sparring partner. |
|
Windows CE-tan
peppy little fairy girl with a magical usb wand. too stupid to know fear. |
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"InuT-tan" (NT Workstation) NT's spunky sister/daughter/dog thing. what she lacks in intellect, she makes up for in paw-having. the awesomest. |
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Windows 98-tan
in her initial design, 98 was drawn as a boxy robot, but nowadays, this shy teen girl iteration pilots that robot as a mech. notorious penis haver. |
|
Windows 98SE-tan
98's rambunctious sister. she, too, pilots a pocky box mech suit. notorious penis hater. carries a bottle opener (for castration) |
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Windows ME-tan
a well-meaning clutz raised by NT. wields a crowbar. the first os-tan. |
|
Windows 2000-tan
intelligent, reserved catgirl. the dependable protector of ME-tan, who tends to be unstable. |
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"Saseko" Windows XP-tan promiscuous pinup girl with an envied body. big eater. my fave :3 |
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"Homeko" Windows XP Home-tan deadbeat pervert fujo failgirl. yaoi mangaka. sister to saseko. |
|
Windows Server 2003-tan
she's the best of both worlds: half girl, half mackerel. tiny ray of sunshine. |
who will WIN? who will DIE? who is your FAVORITE? (please tell me your headcanons in
my guestbook...) 
| NT |
| 95 |
| ME |
| CE |
| Saseko |
| 98 |
| Homeko |
| 98SE |
| Server 2003 |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| 3.1 |
| ? |
| ? |
| ? |
| ? |
| ? |
| ? |
| img of nt |
 |
img of 95 |
NT-tan |
95-tan |
stoic as ever, 95 strikes first with dexterous precision, catching her enemy off-guard. she betrays NT with ease, carefully compartmentalizing that overpowering iniquity to a tiny zip file deep within. she draws first blood. NT is wounded, utterly frozen in place, unable to process what's happened. but by picturing the smiling faces of those she loves, she wills herself to fight. as the protector of the Windows-tan family, NT draws her blade and furiously slashes back, killing 95 (for love!)
img of me |
|
img of ce |
ME-tan |
CE-tan |
Despite her lack of combat experience, CE tries her very best to win! She zips through the air in ME's direction, sprinkling malignant magic from her wand (it gives you cancer). ME-tan readies her crowbar, swings hard, and hits a home run.
img of saseko |
 |
img of 98tan  |
Saseko |
98-tan |
Well renowned and endowed, Saseko is everything 98 isn't. To relieve her penile frustrastions, 98 boards her compensatory mech. Saseko can't help but turn red while she's smashed to a pulp.
img of homeko |
 |
img of 98se |
Homeko |
98SE-tan |
In 98SE's eyes, Homeko the fujoshi has committed a grave sin in being an artisinal penis connoisseur. This is motive enough to robot-smash her.
| img of server2003 |
 |
img of 2k |
Server 2003-tan |
2000-tan |
if you're familiar with real life, this here's a classic dynamic; 2000 (cat) eats Server 2003 (fish). 2003 is dead now. perhaps, if you can imagine, 2000 even burps up a little fish skeleton afterwards.
img of inuT |
 |
img of 3.1 |
InuT-tan |
3.1-tan |
if you're familiar with real life, this is a classic dynamic; 12 year old gets mauled to death by pitbull
| NT |
| 95 |
| ME |
| CE |
| Saseko |
| 98 |
| Homeko |
| 98SE |
| Server 2003 |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| 3.1 |
| NT |
| ME |
| 98 |
| 98SE |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| ? |
| ? |
| ? |
| img of NT |
 |
img of ME |
NT-tan |
ME-tan |
NT can't bring herself to harm her daughter. She commits seppuku. gg ez
| img of 98 |
 |
img of 98se |
98-tan |
98SE-tan |
years of well-concealed sororal disdain bubbles up to the surface when the Penis Haver and the Penis Hater face off in a GIANT MECH BATTLE!!! pushing each other's robots to their limits, the fight ends in a massive, city-leveling explosion, killing them both.
| img of 2k |
 |
img of inuT |
2000-tan |
InuT-tan |
While InuT has brute strength on her side, she's easily outsmarted by the clever cat 2000. She sets
out a bowl of food for InuT, then sneaks up behind her with a mallet and bludgeons her to death.
| NT |
| 95 |
| ME |
| CE |
| Saseko |
| 98 |
| Homeko |
| 98SE |
| Server 2003 |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| 3.1 |
| NT |
| ME |
| 98 |
| 98SE |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| ME |
|
| 2000 |
| ? |
| img of me |
|
img of 2000 |
ME-tan |
2000-tan |
2000, aloof as ever, enters the fight with a strategy in mind. Her plan is thwarted when ME-tan trips and falls, flinging her crowbar through 2000-tan's skull.
| NT |
| 95 |
| ME |
| CE |
| Saseko |
| 98 |
| Homeko |
| 98SE |
| Server 2003 |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| 3.1 |
| NT |
| ME |
| 98 |
| 98SE |
| 2000 |
| InuT |
| ME |
|
|
| 2000 |
| ME |
